SIR - As a young, newly married, personal assistant in the Ministry of Home Security war room I was greeted by a jovial Army major who said: "Mrs Shimmons, I love your new name. It makes me feel drunk when I'm not."
Rosemary Shimmons
Eastbourne, East Sussex
Sir- Imagine our delight at school near Bristol when our dear Rev Mr Ball was made a Canon
Elanor Norman
Hammoon, Dorset
Sir-Many years ago the telephone rang on Christmas Day in the porters' lodge at JEsus College, Cambridge.
"Hello, is that Jesus?" asked the undergraduates on the line.
"Yes," said the hapless porter.
They started singing "Happy Birthday"
The sports pages of the Daily Telegraph boast the full horse-racing listings. Jockeys are very inventive with their horses' names: there were steeds dubbed Finnegan McCool, In Transit, Charles Dickens, Ykikamoocow, We're Delighted, Can Can Dancer, Censored, Cocktail Party, Mykingdomforahorse, Faintly Hopeful, and, my favourite, Shouldn't Be There. I am tempted to begin a career in the equestrian sphere merely to get to name my horse.
Oh Britain.
I leave you with my absolute favourite quote from Hard Day's Night:
Reporter: What do you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
George: Arthur.
Sexiest eyebrows ever.
(Harrison Quote findage props to Emily. I feel that "Arthur" is the Buddhist koan that exactly explains the meaning of my life in some obscure way.)
