18.4.10

I do this for myself because I am my own fatherland, and my handkerchief is my flag.

I'm taking a break from memorizing neurotransmitters and ionic/metabolistic gates (fascinating to the many neuro/med kids in my classes, a bit distant to me) to bring you some quotes from Reinhold Messner, one of my many heroes, to remind myself that within two weeks I will be in a place that no pavement can reach. It's terrifying, and exhilarating, and stressful, and worrisome, and inviting, and I don't know what else. I guess that might describe Messner's life as well:

“Today I am amazed that my father did not forbid us to make such first ascents. At that time I had a confused picture of freedom: today the name is the only thing people know about freedom. They want to be free of laws, free of everyday cares, free of hate, free of ambition. Who knows what freedom is? No one. I often think that we mountaineers get nearest to it, this paradise on earth. Or, to put it another way: the truly free climber is one who obeys no rules. He is no high flyer, keeping up with the Joneses; no slave of others or of the summit fall line, like the directtissima men. I am sorry for them all, but especially for those who do not realize at all that rules force their way between them and the mountains.”

“I do this for myself because I am my own fatherland, and my handkerchief is my flag.”

“Over time, our only chance at safety will depend on not turning the mountains into Disneyland.”

"I am nothing more than a single narrow gasping lung, floating over the mists and summits."

"Mountains are not fair or unfair, they are just dangerous."